Wedded Bliss?: My Advice for the Bride-To-Be

Photo: Tracey Jazmin Photography

I have been married for almost 5 months, or 138 days to be exact :). I put the 'new' in newlywed...and I would have to say that I may or may not have forgotten most of what occurred over the fourteen months that I was engaged, as if it was a traumatic experience. Don't get me wrong, being engaged and planning a wedding is certainly magical and exciting, but it is hard work unless you can afford to have someone plan it for you (hint: you probably won't).


If I could sum up my wedding planning experience in an episode of The Office it would probably be the one where Dwight sets off the fire alarm and Michael is yelling for everyone to stay calm. Remember when you watched that episode for the first time? You knew it was a drill but due to Dwight's unpredictability you were still a little stressed that they all might die.

That about sums up planning a wedding. You basically laugh nervously until you go on your honeymoon.

All joking aside, you and your fiancé's relationship is changing and will grow more rapidly than you can imagine over the next few months. Your wedding day is going to be amazing because loved ones will gather to celebrate the love you and your now-husband share.

1. Pinterest is Your Frenemy

Follow me on Pinterest @Missylisha!

Girl, if you're anything like me you had a (serious) wedding Pinterest board since you and your boo got serious. Pinterest is FULL of incredible ideas for everything from table settings to colour palette's and 'wedding themes'. Trust me, I used the heck out of this resource. I had a total of 18 secret wedding-related boards that grouped together different ideas (i.e. 'Favours', 'Wedding DIY').

Though Pinterest was extremely useful to gather inspiration and keep track of tutorials for DIY's...it's also dangerous, and you can probably guess why:

Pinterest creates unrealistic expectations for your wedding.

The most popular pins are from weddings with impossibly incredible budgets or styled shoots by creators who put their best foot (and product) forward. You'll end up pinning ceremony sites with floor to ceiling fresh flowers, and twinkle lights lining the whole roof. You may say to yourself it's 'just for inspiration'...which it is...but at the same time you can easily create unrealistic expectations for how your wedding is supposed to look.

Planning this wedding is going to mean a lot of compromise, not only between you and your spouse-to-be, but with yourself. Chances are you won't be able to afford everything your heart desires for your big day, so do yourself a favour and be careful how you use Pinterest to plan your wedding.

There was a point in the planning process where I had to step back from the site and focus on what was attainable for Ricardo and I. If you start feeling overwhelmed, or like your wedding might be inadequate, that might be a good time to take a step back from Pinterest/bridal magazines/etc.

2. Stay True to Yourselves as a Couple

Photo: Tracey Jazmin Photography

Your wedding is about you. And by you, I mean you and your boo. Though you want to consider the requests of family or friends, at the end of the day, you're paying too much money for the day to represent anyone other than yourselves.

What does this mean? Prioritize.

If photography is the most important thing to you, don't skimp on it. Invest in the things you want an excellent return for. Politely decline your auntie's friend that does photography on the side if they are not the style or quality that you and your fiancé like.

This also means making compromises or doing things that are unconventional in order to do things how you would like them done.

For example, I really wanted to do a first look because, as an introverted person, I thought I would be an anxious mess at the thought of being the centre of attention during the ceremony. (Ok, well that plus the pics). Ricardo, however, really wanted to see his bride for the first time as she walked down the aisle. At first I was kinda bummed because Mr. old fashioned was pretty passionate about not seeing me, but as we got closer to the date and it became more of an endearing thing for me, because I know he just wanted to be surprised and experience that moment that HE had always dreamed of (hint: your husband has dreams about his wedding too!).

Like you see in the picture above, we compromised and did a 'blindfolded first look', where we could talk before the ceremony in case I was losing my mind (I've never been calmer in my life) and we could get those 'first look' type of photos that I really wanted.

3. Don't DIY Everything

Photo: Tracey Jazmin Photography

Nothing can add more to your stress and your bridal party's stress (!!!) than you deciding to DIY everything. I love you so I'm going to give you a news flash: nobody cares about your wedding as much as you do. And: people have lives outside of your wedding. Even though this is (arguably) the most important thing that has ever happened to you, it's just that...happening to you. 

Not only can you end up spending MORE money than if you had just paid a qualified professional to do the service (I'm looking at you DIY florists), but you add a lot of pressure to this already stressful time and risk cheesing your bridal party. 

I suggest picking 3-5 DIY projects that you have CLEAR instructions for, with planned out crafting times for your bridal party that don't exceed a total of 10 hours. My girls helped me gold leaf my invitations on two separate occasions for about 3 hours respectively, and then they helped with other things closer to the wedding.

Save yourself the stress and don't make everyone hate you!

4. DEVOTIONS!

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I'm telling you, y'all are gonna get tired of me saying the word devotions but TRUST. They REALLY help to keep things in perspective. Ricardo and I read these devotions together before we got married and I believe that this (plus the fact that he's relaxed and overall awesome) protected us from having a strained relationship during this stressful process.

The devotions in this book go through the emotions and struggles that engaged couples go through, not only with each other, but with family members and people around them (who all have opinions about how the wedding should go). This time together really set things in perspective and I'm SO thankful that we did them.

I also want to add that counselling with your pastor is extremely important. Don't skip this and don't disregard anything he says.

5. Be Organized

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I live to organize. You know this about me by now. My best girl Angela gifted The Knot wedding planner to me when I first got engaged, and I used it so much it's pretty much destroyed. If you're going to get a planner I would definitely suggest a binder because you can add and remove papers, business cards, pamphlets, etc. to customize your needs. 

This is not the time to procrastinate. Let me repeat myself

This is not the time to procrastinate. 

A year goes by faster than you can imagine, especially if you're in your last year of university like I was. You don't have time OR MONEY to leave things to the last minute and hope that things magically go as planned. 

Hopefully you're too excited to procrastinate, though! 

If you are a procrastinator, ask for help! There's nothing wrong with sharing the load, actually it's highly encouraged! Just make sure the person or people you choose to help you are trustworthy and understanding of the fact that you call the shots (unless you give them permission to). 

You can do this!!

Bonus Tip From the Hubs: Wear Out the Name Fiancé(e)

Ricardo is so sweet. I told him I was writing this post and asked for his input on the subject, and one of the first things he said besides prioritizing was "Don't forget to say fiancée". At first I wasn't sure what he meant but he said that you should refer to your betrothed "as 'fiancée' as many times as you possibly can because this phase in your relationship doesn't last forever, and after you get married she will always be your wife...so call her fiancée as much as you can". 

I melted a little. But he's so right, this phase in your life is so, so special and it (hopefully) only happens once. Enjoy every second and post that ring shot (AGAIN). There's so much joy in being engaged and planning a wedding, it's all worth it in the end when you get to call him your husband everyday after.