Surviving Christmas: Newlywed Edition

Dearly beloved, we are gathered here today in the sight of God and this company to say that we don't have that much money and would like to survive the Christmas giving season.

Face it. If you were living with your parents before you got married, there is A LOT more money coming out of your bank account than you'd like. Bills? Groceries? Rent/Mortgage? What is adulting.

Today we're talking about surviving Christmas as a newlywed. Celebrating Christ is free, but the gift-giving part sure isn't. Not to mention you probably need to buy your first Christmas tree...that also requires ornaments, a skirt, tree topper, etc.

Starting from scratch is so exciting because you get to pick out what YOU like, but it's also stressful. Things you just had at your parent's house needs to be bought and accumulated now that you're on your own. Moving out has made me so grateful for my family's provision for so many years of my life.

In light of that, today we're talking about tips & tricks to surviving your first Christmas together as newlyweds. Get a cup of hot chocolate & put on your winter jacket because it's about to get blustery!

Budget. Budget. Budget.

Didn't see this one coming, did you? Frankly, you can only spend what you have, so starting here is the most logical thing to do. Sit down with your spouse and figure out how much money you can allot to Christmas spending. 

Chances are, it won't be as lavish a Christmas as you're used to, and that's okay. If it is, there are two possibilities:

1) You're very financially stable, congratulations!

2) You're living above your means and will probably regret it

Keeping that in mind, don't go into debt over Christmas. I know there is a lot of pressure on social media to live up to expectations, and Heaven forbid in our families to buy everyone expensive gifts, but I promise you it's not worth it.  

Once you have a number in your mind, you can determine where you can spend, and where you need to get creative. 

Plan. Plan. Plan.

This tip goes hand in hand with budgeting. Christmas planning for me began on the first crisp day of September. 

First things first, a few questions:

1) Who do you have to buy for? 

2) Do you really have to buy them a gift? (By this I mean, is it really necessary that every single one of your coworkers gets a holiday gift from you?) 

Think of it as planning your guest list for the wedding. Remember editing the list and then editing it again 800 times? Do that with your gift recipient list and then you can start budgeting and getting creative.

So, once I had that list down I started thinking about what kind of gifts I'd like to give. Starting with my husband, I picked out his 'big' gift and then brainstormed other 'little' gifts that could go along with it. That way he can open more than one present.

Since you already have your budget down from the previous step, you can go ahead and start purchasing some gifts early. I bought Ricardo's 'big gift' in September because I wanted to absorb some of December's expenses. That way, if something were to happen (like our car breaking down), I haven't drained the account (which shouldn't technically happen if you saved up for your gifts...but I'd rather be safe than sorry!).

Taking the time to plan out what Christmas gift-giving will look like to you and your new family will allow you to wait for sales and prevent last-minute COSTLY scrambling.

Tell Your Friends

This one can be a little uncomfortable sometimes, but it's the easiest way to relieve pressure of yourself (and your friends!) 

I watch a great YouTube channel called The Financial Diet, they give really age-appropriate financial advice that I enjoy watching. One of the greatest tips they've shared is telling your friends (and family!) about your budgeting. By that I don't mean show them your books and give them access to your bank account...I mean let them know that you are trying to save money and spend less. 

This doesn't just apply to the holiday season, it can really help when if your friends go out to eat a lot and you always feel pressured to go when you know you should be saving that money for (insert really awesome thing here). 

For Christmas, friends and families can agree on a budget for each other, so that you can spend an amount you're comfortable with, and there won't be any awkward *gives cute candle and they got you a Chanel bag* moments. Your friends and your family love you, and are more likely to be glad you're being financially responsible than be upset with you. Plus, you have no idea what their financial situation is like...you could have just done them a favour. 

Get Creative

You have free reign here. Are you an artist? (Paint something for them!) Are you great with design? (Make something that they can put on their wall!) Are you an amazing decorator? (Offer to help them decorate their room/house!) 

Gifts don't have to be things, and they certainly don't have to be purchased things. 

Do you make AMAZING cookies? Package them all cute and give those as gifts! The options are limitless. Think about what you can give and what the other would appreciate. 

I love giving (or buying) mug sets that have a comforting drink mix, a cute mug and candy item. Very inexpensive but always exciting. 

Agree on Equality

Depending on your family dynamic and relationship with the in-laws, I would suggest that you and your spouse agree on equal budgets for parents and family members. This way, no one feels left out or under appreciated or any other emotion you want to insert here. As the years progress in your marriage this can obviously be changed, but for now equality is the easiest, argument free way. 

Decide What You Can Do Without

Nobody likes to have less than what they had before. But marriage means compromise and sometimes you don't get everything you're used to. Did your mom have 50 holiday dishes with matching napkins, tablecloths and glassware? Was your Christmas tree trimmed to perfection with ribbons and ornaments galore? Chances are her collection is just that...a collection from many years of accumulating her perfect holiday things. 

It's not realistic to expect your first Christmas to look like a magazine cover. Decide on your 'must-have' list and then edit and re-edit that until you have the bare-minimum you need to be satisfied within your means (which can still be breathtakingly beautiful!). 

Decide on Your Traditions

My family always opened one present on Christmas Eve. That's a tradition I've always loved (maybe because it was so hard for me to wait as a kid!) and I really wanted to carry that out in my own family. Luckily for me, Ricardo's family did that too, so that was an easy pick! 

Decide with your spouse what traditions you'd like to continue or what ones you'd like to create. As much as your parents and their parents have lots of traditions they expect to continue with you, it's important to remember that you have your own family now too. Creating your own traditions that you carry out as a couple and eventually as parents to cute kids will be extra special. 

Remember that Christmas is More Than Gifts

This goes without saying, but social media really makes us forget sometimes. Christmas is about celebrating Christ. Christmas is about family and loved ones. It's about great food and showing others that you cherish them.

Don't let a beautiful celebration like Christmas become a source of stress and grief for you and your husband/wife. This is your first one together! It's SO special, and because of that, it won't be forgotten.