Loving an Extrovert

Welcome back! Hopefully you read last week's post about loving an introvert. Let's follow up on that train of thought by having a dedicated post for all the party people...the extroverts. Loving an extrovert as an introvert can be especially challenging at times, because, let's be honest, introverts are A LOT more picky that extroverts.

Now, since you all know by now that I am not an extrovert, I consulted with the closest one to me...my husband. (Just so you know I didn't make this stuff up, haha.)

So, What's an Extrovert?

We can't get too hasty! Before we jump into the meat & potatoes of the post, we need to first define extroversion. From Vocabulary.com we get:

"A person concerned more with practical realities than with inner thoughts and feelings."

"An extrovert is a friendly person who enjoys talking to and being with other people."

Interestingly enough, it was hard to find a cohesive definition that accurately described extroverts. Personally, I'd define them as

"People who are energized by social interaction." 

As opposed to introverts who find social interaction draining.

A few signs of extroversion are:

1. You're the Life of the Party 

(or you're at least making sure you're always AT the party!)

2. You Tend to Text/Stay on Social Media A Lot

(You HAVE to stay updated on what's happening!)

3. You Suffer from FOMO (Fear of Missing Out)

(you HATE when you can't go out with friends because of [insert boring thing here])

4. People want to be your friend

(they know who to call if they want a good time)

5. You're super honest

(sometimes a little too honest)

6. You're a bit of a daredevil

(basically, if your mom knew some of the crazy stuff you've done, she'd faint)

7. Being alone is exhausting

(you feel so lazy and blah)

8. You have so many awesome stories to tell your friends

(some may or may not be totally accurate)

Think you might be an extrovert? Take the quiz here to find out!

Now that we have better understanding of what an extrovert is, let's dive into loving an extrovert, as an introvert.

They Live For Girl/Guy's Night Out

They love ya...but there's no getting around this. Extroverts are extremely social by nature, and just like you can't help but feel trapped in a room full of people, they can't help but feel trapped if they're forced to stay home without people. 

It's not that they don't love you or don't think you're fun to hang out with...they just need to spend time socializing with other people. You see, extroverts live for the give and take of conversation. They feel inspired and energized when they connect with people and hear about their experiences as they share theirs. 

So, introverts, you gotta let them go! Actually, most of the time they want you to come with them. But on the occasion that they just want to go out with their friends, let them do it. Because this means you get to have amazing QUIET time (we'll talk about this later) with yourself. Read a book, watch a movie, sit and stare at the wall for hours and think about life (introverts are way chill). 

Extroverts Need Quiet Time Too (Don't Let Them Fool You!) 

This is something that a lot of introverts don't realize about extroverts. If there was a gif about how introverts think of extroverts it would be this one:

or this one:

We literally think you're crazy.

(seriously, there are SO many things happening here)

Anyways, clearly you can see that introverts are really dramatic when they think of extroverts. But it's important for you to know that your extro-love DOES actually need quiet time.

Once they've had their night out, their next goal is to come back to their quiet place…where the introvert has been sitting all night. You are their happy place. 

Basically, in order to get what you want (do things quietly at home with your partner), you need to let them out to have their social time. 

Intro/Extroversion are Categories...Not Limits

By now you've noticed that you have some of the traits of intro or extroversion, but not necessarily all of them. Personality types and tests are merely human attempts to categorize and understand human beings in a way that can be easily conveyed. But God made us so beautifully unique that no category or type can ever fully define you. 

With that in mind, your partner is not limited to intro or extroversion. Their overall personality has a lot of influence on it, and your partner may display opposite qualities in a relationship because they feel comfortable. 

For example, in Ricardo & I's relationship, I display extrovert qualities. I NEVER stop talking and I want to deal with conflict right then and there. Both are more extroverted tendencies. 

Ricardo, on the other hand, displays introvert tendencies by talking a lot less (probably cause he talks incessantly outside of our house and his jaw is sore, haha). But in conflict situations, he is more likely to shut down and need space before working it out. 

So you see, your partner is not limited to the specific category that they might fall into. Getting to know your partner VERY well before big steps like marriage is super important...we don't want any surprises!

Be Clear about Your Expectations

Introverts, this is where you can sometimes fall short. For the love of God, TELL your partner what your expectations are. You will need to push yourself outside of your safe cocoon to let your partner know what you expect and what UPSETS you! 

If your extro-love going out 4 times a week is making your blood boil, they WANT TO KNOW! They need to know, so that they can properly plan out and adjust their social time in order to keep the peace in their relationship and home. 

No matter what type of relationship you're in (be it intro-intro, intro-extro, or extro-extro), lack of communication regarding expectations is GUARANTEED to create tension. Talk it out!

Extroverts are Loud

Duh. I know, thanks Captain Obvious. But seriously. This will drive you crazy no matter what 'percentage' of introvert you are. 

They like loud music, loud movies, loud talking, loud living. 

Be prepared. Teach them the benefits of an inside voice but learn to live out loud yourself. It’s a give and take.

They WILL Push Your Limits

Your extrovert partner will push you to do things you would NEVER do on your own accord. 

Whether it's going zip-lining in Mexico or doing a presentation on your awesome idea, or standing up for yourself when someone actually really upsets you. 

It's worth it. I promise. Let them push you. 

Extroverts will Connect You to some of the Most Important People in Your Life

Put on your big girl/boy clothes and get your butt out of the house for some social time. I promise you, your extrovert partner will introduce you to people you couldn't see yourself living without. 

Then you'll be grateful they dragged you to yet ANOTHER friend gathering or birthday party (Dear Lord, the birthday parties). 

Extroverts will enrich your life in a way that only they can. They will push you to become the best version of yourself, one that's less fearful, more fulfilled and certainly, more fun.